A couple days ago I exchanged emails with the mortgage lender supporting my current real estate listing, and somehow my kids came up. She told me I should bring them to the closing at the end of the month because she needed a toddler fix. After telling her I had a two- and four-year-old and that such a situation would be utter chaos, she responded, “Sounds like Heaven to me! My kids are all grown and [there are] no grand babies.” All I could think was, “Man! She is bat shit crazy!”
Maybe if I told her about the recent urine fest at the pediatrician’s office for yearly well checks, she’d change her mind. I am assuming you want to know about the urine now, right? Well…Pookie needed to provide a urine sample during this last visit, so the nurse gave us this cool toilet insert to catch the urine, and I was thankful. All I envisioned on my way to the office was attempting to catch a wiggly toddler’s pee in a small cup, so this was going better than expected. After she was done, I squatted in front of the toilet to show Pookie how to be careful when pouring the pee into the cup. Then it happened…the fricken toilet seat fell down and crashed onto my cup and insert, and all of a sudden it was like Old Faithful exploded. Only it was a fountain of piss.
I yelped/screeched very audibly and started laughing and even more so when Pookie looked at me and said, “Mommy! You splashed me!” Amongst the laughing I heard the nurse outside, “Mom, are you OK?” Ummmmm…“No!” The nurse quickly came in with Clorox wipes for clean up, and I used a few alcohol pads to wipe my dripping leg. Continue reading “Drama Queen, Clown and New Baby, Oh My!”