Drama Queen, Clown and New Baby, Oh My!

A couple days ago I exchanged emails with the mortgage lender supporting my current real estate listing, and somehow my kids came up. She told me I should bring them to the closing at the end of the month because she needed a toddler fix. After telling her I had a two- and four-year-old and that such a situation would be utter chaos, she responded, “Sounds like Heaven to me! My kids are all grown and [there are] no grand babies.” All I could think was, “Man! She is bat shit crazy!”

Maybe if I told her about the recent urine fest at the pediatrician’s office for yearly well checks, she’d change her mind. I am assuming you want to know about the urine now, right? Well…Pookie needed to provide a urine sample during this last visit, so the nurse gave us this cool toilet insert to catch the urine, and I was thankful. All I envisioned on my way to the office was attempting to catch a wiggly toddler’s pee in a small cup, so this was going better than expected. After she was done, I squatted in front of the toilet to show Pookie how to be careful when pouring the pee into the cup. Then it happened…the fricken toilet seat fell down and crashed onto my cup and insert, and all of a sudden it was like Old Faithful exploded. Only it was a fountain of piss.

I yelped/screeched very audibly and started laughing and even more so when Pookie looked at me and said, “Mommy! You splashed me!” Amongst the laughing I heard the nurse outside, “Mom, are you OK?” Ummmmm…“No!” The nurse quickly came in with Clorox wipes for clean up, and I used a few alcohol pads to wipe my dripping leg.

I figured after the urine splash manuever, I should check on Punkin. Right as I stuck my head into Room #3, all I saw was a stream of pee flowing onto the carpet. She peed her shorts, to which my response was not laughter. I rushed her to the bathroom and let her know I was not happy, and she spent the rest of the visit buck naked. (She really has been doing great at potty training, and perhaps she would’ve told me she had to pee had I been in the room with her.) Those five minutes of urine soaked fun made me grateful for the gift of laughter and aware of just how much us parents handle on a daily basis. Five minutes people. All of that literally happened in less time than it takes my husband to poop. 

I know, I know. One day I’ll wish they were little again, and I’ll miss it, but do you ever look around at kids riding their bikes with their friends and think, “Wouldn’t that be so great to go back to those days?” It brings back memories of simpler times. Times when I wasn’t battling a now fournager, trying to get a two-year-old clown to listen and working through the politics of an office environment.

In my naive head I thought when Pookie turned four, the heavens would part, the sun would shine and she would magically turn the threenager corner into glorious four. Now, don’t get me wrong, I knew she’d still have her moments, but I honestly didn’t think it could get worse. She’s like a 13-year-old, hormonal drama queen trapped in a padded room. And I swear, if Punkin could talk, I think I’d hear her say, “Screw you Mom,” on a regular basis.

Speaking of that two-year-old clown, that kid managed to get her head stuck between the railings on our deck on her birthday, which happened to fall on Mother’s Day this year. (This happened right after she screamed bloody murder after spotting a rabbit in the yard.) After coming to the realization that her uncle, dad and I couldn’t get her free, I was about to tell Pat to get the saw, when I had the brilliant idea to pull her through the slats head first. Us mama bears can become instant geniuses when our little ones are in trouble. Luckily, she’s too young to remember the trauma of her second birthday. Ask me how I know. She stuck her head through the railings the very next day. This time her head faired better, telling me our posts are not symmetrical. Watch here: Two-year-old vs Railing

To be honest, I wouldn’t go back to those awkward middle school days, but reminiscing is somewhat therapeutic. Nowadays I get excited thinking about my girls’ development, activities, who they’ll become and how we’re going to conquer adding a third child to the mix. Yes, I am pregars, which comes with its own dramatic flavor of the day. I am 18 weeks, and, yes, I know I look like I am six months! I guess the muscle memory thing is real because everything shot out much sooner with this one. It’s a bit uncomfortable when Pookie starts talking to my gut. She’s trying to be sweet, but really it’s just awkward. 😉

And why do people always say the most inappropriate or thoughtless things to pregnant women? I held an open house for my current listing a few weekends ago, and one of the “nice” REALTORS® who was showing his clients the house was blown away when I said I was four months. “Oh, wow! I would’ve guessed a lot farther along,” he exclaimed. Or how about this one…“Oh, you’re about ready to pop! When are due?” Ummmm…yeah, I’ve still got another five months. Oh, oh, and what about the neighbor who came by Sunday afternoon and proceeded to tell me how she heard women who have three or more kids just end up with everything hanging out afterward and needing surgery? At least I could respond and tell her I am already doing pelvic floor physical therapy, so there! Ha! 

I am due October 23, and I’ve had the pleasure of learning all about the different tests and things I must do now since I am 36 and what they call “Advanced Maternal Age,” or AMA. Yup, in other words, I am old.

The best part of being AMA is the hemoglobin A1C blood test they ordered to check my glucose concentration levels. Apparently I was on the higher end of average, and because they’re seeing more geriatric pregnant women develop gestational diabetes I have the privilege of pricking my finger four times a day. It’s super fun, and I am loving being pregnant this time around. (Insert a sarcastic emoji here.)

Beyond finger pricks and having to take progesterone daily, I was happy to learn they now say I can drink one to two cups of regular coffee every day. Oh, but I can only eat peanut butter a few times per week. Apparently that will help avoid nut allergies. I am sure one of those things will change next year.

Things are always changing, but for the most part those must-have baby supplies (with the exception of the newest trends and recalled items) remain the same. Thank goodness we didn’t part with anything. I have to say, the Rock n’ Play recall was a big  shocker because we loved ours. I had plenty of friends who took our advice and got one too.

My list of baby “must haves” is long, and I’ve passed it onto many friends, but I figured this was the post where I’d share it with everyone. I am pretty pragmatic, so there’s not a lot of fluff in the list. Of course, my little brother thought the list was absurd, but I’d be curious what he thinks in a few months. He and my sister-in-law just had their first kiddo, and I am sure my bro will likely never admit I was right. 😉

Check out my list and let me know what I’ve missed. What are/were some of your go-to baby items? I’d also appreciate any advice on having three kiddos. At this point, I am a bit fearful but must trust God is giving us another for a reason. 

Sleep:

• Aden and Anais Swaddle Blankets 
• HALO Velcro Swaddlers (I’d recommend getting a 0-3 months and 3-6 months to start, but we used these with our girls until close to two years of age when we transitioned them to big girl beds.) 
• Sleep Sack Gown (We used these for the first four months, along with the Velcro swaddlers. The sleep sack just makes diaper changing in the middle of night so much easier than footie pajamas.) 
• Zip-up Footie Pajamas (Who wants to do buttons in the middle of the night? I wouldn’t bother with NB size.) 
• Sound Machine 
• Night light
• Crib Sheets (This set is pretty cool because it’s waterproof too. There’s no need for a waterproof mattress cover, which you definitely want.) 
• Rock N’ Play Equivalent (We got a Rock N’ Play, but they’ve since been recalled. I’d try to find something similar. The baby will likely only be in it for about three months before you want or decide to transition him/her to the crib or whatever your long-term solution may be.) This one looks pretty cool. 

Activity Equipment:

• Bouncy Seat (This is great because it’s easily transportable, and you can have the baby near you when you want to shower or do laundry.) 
• Pack N’ Play (Some of my friends kept this in their room for the first few months because nowadays they come with changing stations, so everything is in one spot.)
• Baby Swing… the kind that actually swings. (I haven’t heard good things about the Mamaroo, even though it was all the rage when Pookie was born. There’s not enough motion, so it lacks the vigor of an old fashioned swing. Babies like movement, so they better be able to feel it. For some of my friends and family members, the swing was a Godsend.) 

Out and About:

• Ergobaby + Infant Insert (Get the 360 model, so you can wear it various different ways.) 
• Stroller (We have the City Select by Baby Jogger and love it. With most strollers you’ll need an attachment piece to hook up the infant car seat carrier because a baby can’t support itself in a regular stroller seat until around five-six months. I also love this stroller because it can handle up to three kids with various attachments.)
• JJ Cole Car Seat Cover (I loved this in the winter time.) 
• Infant Car Seat + Two Bases (if there are two cars)
• Convertible Car Seat and Angle Adjuster (I transitioned to a bigger car seat around six months with both girls because they got too heavy in the carrier. I like the Diono car seat, not only because of its safety features, but you can fit three across the backseat, and it’s a solid piece with steel framing.)
• Diaper Bag (The Skip Hop Grand Central Take It All was my favorite. We also have a JuJuBe Backpack, and that is nice for going on long outings like baseball games. Just strap the baby on front and the diaper bag on the back. You’re good to go!) 

Hygiene:

• Diapers…a lot (Costco doesn’t sell NB diapers, and I found the Target brand to be cheapest for NB. However, don’t go crazy with NB diapers, until the little one makes an appearance because your child’s size could dictate otherwise. Punkin was in NB diapers for a hot second, and Pookie was in them forever.)
• Baby Wipes (Costco’s Kirkland brand diapers and wipes are my favorite.) 
• Diaper Pail 
• Baby Laundry Detergent 
• Bathtub Free-standing Sling (I preferred this over the tub with an insert. This is much easier to use when the kiddo is older too.)
• Changing Table 
• Changing Pad and Covers (Play it safe, and get three.)  
• Changing Pad Liners (I love these! You won’t want to wash the changing pad every time there’s poop on it, so get the thin pads you can place on top of the cover. That way you just throw those in the wash instead of having to completely strip the changing pad. Trust me, it will save you time.)
• Humidifier 
• Wash Cloths (Get a lot. They’re not only good for bath time but cleaning up baby food faces when the baby is a bit older.) 
• Towels (Get a couple. Babies only need one to two baths per week for awhile. Even now, our girls get about three baths per week. If you’re doing more baths with your toddlers, then power to you. I generally dread bath time.) My sister-in-law got the linked towel at her baby shower, and it felt amazing and is big enough to last through those toddler years! 
• Nose Frida (Aka…snot sucker. I know, I know. Most are grossed out, but there’s a filter, and a really long tube that the snot would have to pass through and travel up to get to your mouth. You’ll thank me after that first cold when you realize the blue bulb isn’t nearly as awesome.) 
• Thermometer 
• Brush (I am going to try this one because it has good reviews and comes with a cradle cap brush.) 
• Dr. Bronner’s Baby Soap
• Organic Lotion

Feeding:

• Nursing Pillow (I preferred the Boppy over the Brest Friend.) 
• Nursing Cover (I recommend getting the scarf-looking kind because the kiddos like to pull the one that looks more like a sheet down, exposing your chest to the world. It’s also a multi-purpose cover.)
• Cloth Diapers for Burp Cloths (I swear, these make the best burp cloths because they’re way more absorbent than the cutesy thin ones. If you’re going to use cloth diapers then you’re set anyway, but I didn’t have it in me to go down that path.)  
• Pacifiers (Our kiddos never really took to them, so don’t buy a lot until you know whether your little one likes them. We have thumb suckers.) 
• Breast Pump (Your insurance will likely provide one.)
• Nursing Pads (I like the Lansinoh brand the best, and I went through boxes monthly. I wish the cloth reusable ones would’ve worked, but I shot right on through.) 
• Hands-free Pumping Bra 
• Medela Sanitizing Steam Bags (Bottles and pumping parts should be sterilized, and these are convenient because they’re transportable.) 
• Medela Sanitizing Wipes (If/when you go back to work, it’s great to have a quick clean-up option versus washing your parts in the communal sink.) 
• Babyganics Dish Soap (Regular dish soap doesn’t get rid of the breast milk film like Babyganics does.)
• Bottles (I’d recommend working on bottle feeding around 2-3 weeks. Moms should leave the house and let the hubby or someone else attempt it. Those babies can smell and/or sense when mom is there, and if that’s the case they’ll just wait for Mom to come to the rescue. Also, don’t buy a ton of bottles, until you can safely say he/she will take it. Try a couple options.) Breastflow is the only bottle Punkin would take. Dr. Browns worked great for Pookie. Comotomo is also a good one. 

Miscellaneous:

• Baby Book (It’s fun to capture the moments and reminisce later.) 
• Baby Mirror for Car (Put this on the headrest of the back seat so the baby can see him/herself, and you can see baby.) 

Wait on Purchasing These Items:

• Newborn Clothes (I’d recommend waiting until after the baby is born to purchase or wash any newborn outfits. With Pookie we purchased approximately five onesies and three pants, but Punkin’ left the hospital in size 1 diapers and 0-3 month clothes. That kid was a beast.)
• Play Mat (two-three months) 
• Bumbo (three-four months) 
• Teethers (~three months)  (I liked this one too.)
• Baby Video Monitor (A monitor is really not necessary until the baby is sleeping in his/her own room. You’ll want one that has a wide reception range though. We had to take back the first one because we couldn’t be outside and still have service. The Infant Optics has served us pretty well.) 
• Glider/rocking chair (I can’t recommend one because I don’t like mine, but it’s worth having one. When you find a good one, let me know.)
• Silicone Bibs (six months) 
• High Chair (six months) 
• Exersaucer/Jumperroo (~four months) 
• Play Area Fence (These are great for when baby becomes mobile. Don’t wait too long though. If you give baby free rein and then try to cage them in, baby will be sure to let you know your setup won’t fly.)
• Pouch Tops (I wish I would’ve invented these.)
• Large Silicone Ice Cube Tray (I made a ton of baby food for Pookie. I’d freeze it and then thaw a cube for lunch or dinner.)