From Nun and Too Many Dates to Family of Four

Hi! Welcome to Juggling Work Mama! I hope you enjoy this inaugural post, where I’ll introduce you to myself and my circus. You can also learn more About Me. 

Up until Freshman year of high school, I wanted to be a nun. In sixth grade I remember writing to the Carmelite sisters and receiving a packet of pamphlets and other information in the mail. I am not sure I ever made it through all of the information they sent me; maybe a Rosary or a little token of some sort would have gone farther in the mind of 12-year-old. 

Then I entered high school, where I discovered boys and a love for babysitting. The convent suddenly became a distant phase, while my desire for a husband and family grew. By the time I graduated college I wanted to be married, but every guy I thought was THE ONE didn’t feel the same way about me. Man…the drama! So, I went to Costa Rica for a year and volunteered as an English teacher and then decided to move to Washington D.C., where I lived with my cousins and started a career. I was there for three years, which was long enough. I remember standing on the metro (subway) late one evening, seeing everyone glued to their phones and not one wearing a wedding band. I had to get out. 

In August of 2011, my best friend and I traveled to Spain, where we hiked 100 kilometers of El Camino de Santiago, a pilgrimage walk to Santiago de Compostela (the same town I lived in for a semester in college). It was during that pilgrimage I heard God tell me I’d get back to Colorado, and I’d find my husband. After the grueling, but beautiful, experience of El Camino we braved World Youth Day, where we became the old gals, and rightfully so. We were traveling with a priest and a group of wonderful college kids (my best friend was a missionary at a college campus at the time), and while World Youth Day had its pleasant moments (like seeing the Pope), I remember the heat, crowds and lack of amenities more so. It’s called World YOUTH Day for a reason.

After returning home, my best friend got engaged, and I received word my company found me a position in Colorado, and they would even pay for my transfer! I was back home within two months! I also became a woman on a mission. I was going to find my husband! 

I joined match.com, Catholic speed dating, attended a Catholic singles conference and finally bit the bullet and joined It’s Just Lunch, a matchmaking service. That was one heck of an investment of time and money!

I was determined to find my perfect spouse, but I became one of those single gals who thought it would never happen. God must have forgotten about me, or maybe I wasn’t headed down the right path. Maybe I was supposed to pursue that sixth-grade dream of becoming a nun, and I chose incorrectly. I am not exaggerating when I say I went out with 20 different guys in about a year. Two of the guys I dated for three months each. You do the math. 

Needless to say, that was a lousy year for the bride wannabe, and my hope was lost. I’ll never forget the night I got lost in Denver. It was late, and I don’t even remember where I was leaving, but I am pretty sure one of the guys I had been dating for several months had recently dumped me. I’ll have to ask my mom; she would remember. Moms remember everything their daughters go through. So, there I was, lost. I stopped the car, and what was before me but Little Sisters of the Poor (a convent). I started bawling and called my mom saying, “Maybe God wants me to be a nuuuuuuuuunnnn.”

I had also just ended my contract with It’s Just Lunch. My experience wasn’t great, and you best believe I let them know it. I also mentioned to the representative who took my complaint that a few of the guys they set me up with were likely gay, so they should take that into consideration when matching them with future women. Who talks about their “mittens and matching scarf” over dinner?

The It’s Just Lunch representative felt bad and wanted to personally set me up with one last guy, as an “I am sorry we let you down” freebie, so I sucked it up and went. When I met Pat, there were no fireworks and instant chemistry, but he also wasn’t the typical gym rat, meathead I had allowed myself to fall for in the past. He was normal, genuine, kind and had a childlike sense of wonder about him. We talked about family, religion and life. As he likes to say whenever I ask what he and his friends talked about, “You know, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” 

So, date number one was March 2013, and he called me a couple days later for date number two…the most awkward conversation ever. I answered the phone and had to coax him through a “conversation,” if that’s what you want to call it. I found out later, he didn’t expect me to answer. That was his luck. He had his script memorized for the voicemail, and I threw him off. You see, Pat was just as defeated as I was at the time, but we found one another at the right time. I honestly wouldn’t have given him a second look had I met him any sooner. I also told myself I’d continue dating him, until he gave me a reason not to. I guess I am still waiting for that reason. 😉 

I will say though, his horribly ugly tennis shoes he wore everywhere for the first couple months almost did him in. My mom told me I couldn’t break up with someone because of his shoes, so I listened to her, like all good daughters do. 😉 I waited until Cinco de Mayo and few margaritas later to tell him his shoes looked like something he ripped off of a homeless person and that he had to get new ones. He still has those damn shoes, and he mostly uses them for yard work, but every once in awhile we’ll be in public, and I’ll look down in horror. Part of me would love to throw those ugly things out, but at this point they now have some kind of sentimental meaning. I can’t believe I just said that. Don’t tell Pat. 

Pat and I were engaged 10 months later during our trip to Ecuador, where my cousin and her boyfriend were living at the time. The proposal was perfectly planned and romantic, and when he asked, I said, “Yes! Thank you.” My time had finally come! And God really did save the best for last. We were married six months later, and we got pregnant on our honeymoon in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic, where they served us a lot of Mama Juana. We came to find out Mama Juana was known as the “baby maker.” 

Our first girlie, my Pookie, was born in April, and approximately two years later we had our second, my Punkin. Hmmmm…that souvenir bottle of Mama Juana is still sitting on the top shelf in our pantry.

In just four years of marriage, we have had two kiddos, two dogs, two homes, two cars, started three real estate businesses, traveled near and far, conquered some rough patches and made many memories. There are always going to be road blocks, but that’s what makes life interesting. My search for a husband didn’t unfold the way I planned, and who the heck enjoys dating? No one! That’s who. I’ll tell you what though, it was worth the tears and wounds, and I wouldn’t change my story for the world. Being a stay-at-home mama and real estate entrepreneur is not without its challenges either, but life is a circus, and it’s the show that makes it fun! My two girls make sure I know that every day.

Go after your story, and remember you are right where you need to be. Don’t try and force what you believe will bring you happiness. If it causes too much strain, reevaluate, and remember, there’s always wine. 😉

I’d love to hear about your dating woes and wins.