Poopocalypse

You know what’s difficult? Three kids, that’s what. Pat and I embraced one like champions, and two kids wasn’t much different. We felt, and maybe even looked like, superheroes. Well, God is now up there laughing at us because He has finally given us a taste of humble pie. After the night we had last night (more to follow), I told Pat, “I don’t think God will give us a fourth; I think He knows this is as much as we can handle.” Pat quickly disagreed, as he believes the Man Upstairs has a more vicious sense of humor than I do. I guess we’ll see in time. We will always be open to life, and natural family planning has worked as planned thus far, so we shall see how our future unfolds. In the meantime though, we’re navigating three, and the hardest part has been the older two. The drama queen and the opinionated, obnoxious, strong willed four-and-a-half-year-old girl who argues with everything are enough to put me over the edge. Add our newest bundle of joy (i.e., Peanut) to the mix, and we’ve got a three-ring circus. He is the most precious, snuggly, gassy guy who enjoys crying more than his sisters did and sleeping less too. We didn’t realize how lucky we were to have two babies come home from the hospital literally sleeping through the night. Both our girls were great babies, so it was our turn to experience the other kind of kiddo. Right?

While he really is precious (when he’s not losing it), he is a boy. He farts, grunts, burps (more like belches), snores, goes through diapers at an alarming rate and wakes up every few hours throughout the night. We have been using gripe water and gas drops like nobody’s business, and let me just tell you about the invention called the Windi. Our Aunt Katie now wants to know if it comes in an adult size for a gag gift, after I handed one off to my sister-in-law at her baby shower. I haven’t looked into it, but if it doesn’t then Fridababy has a new market they should consider targeting. This nifty little contraption is made by the same group who invented the NoseFrida (aka, snot sucker), and it’s pretty much a kazoo for the butt. The instructions warn you to be prepared for a messy experience, so now I’ve warned you too. The gist…you lube up and insert a one inch piece into your little one’s gassy backside, and if you hear what can best be described as a whistle, then you’re doing something right. It was rather frightening at first, but it helped out our Peanut and allowed us to sleep longer that night.

Sleeping, of course, is precious, but trying to find the right time to do the last feeding, get some alone time in there and get to bed in a timely manner takes a bit of juggling. On Saturday, we decided to head to bed around 10 p.m. to ensure we were in bed by 11. As I brushed my teeth, I noticed Pat grinning behind me. As I turned, he said, “Punkin’ had an accident. There’s poop on the floor.” The culprit wasn’t the baby this time. I followed him to the room with toothbrush in hand, gazed down at the trail of poop and chuckled. In hindsight, I wish I wouldn’t have chuckled because it was far from funny.

I finished brushing my teeth before dealing with the poop. I shouldn’t have given myself those extra couple minutes of brushing because that gave Pat enough time to pick up the pieces of poop without marking where they had been. Maybe keeping a pack of golf markers in the rooms would be helpful. Obviously Pat wasn’t thinking through the entire process before starting cleanup. Is that a male trait, or is it just my husband? In the long run it didn’t matter, but I’ll explain later.

As I peeled back Punkin’s sheets I saw what looked like a muddy puddle scene from “Peppa Pig.” I grabbed Sleeping Poopy and headed for the bathroom when Pat offered to take her. What a kind sentiment that was because he really wouldn’t have lasted two minutes with her. Again, I was thinking ahead, and he wasn’t.

Continue reading “Poopocalypse”

The Art of Camping

Camping is a time-intensive hobby, but throw in kids, and you’ve got the makings for a three-ring circus. The amount of time that goes into packing, preparing for all kinds of weather, remembering odds and ends to assist in meal prep and clean up and ensuring all sleeping materials are accounted for is enough to deter many from wanting to experience camping. The amount of smoke-filled laundry to wash upon returning isn’t the most fun either, but don’t get me wrong, it’s a blast! Honest.

Our family has come to enjoy the outdoor experience, and the girls have taken to entertaining themselves with rocks, sticks and their imaginations. I think part of the pleasure comes from being able to completely unplug from technology for a few days and not worry about much else except having a good time with family and friends. It’s refreshing and rejuvenates your soul.

This summer has been full of camping, and even though I am seven months pregnant, I am still enjoying it. Yes, we tent camp, but I made sure I had a two-inch memory foam rollout mat to sleep on before making the decision to camp all summer. It’s quite comfortable, and it came from my favorite store (Costco), so what’s not to love?

The thing about preparing for a camping trip is to get the process down to a science. Have a camping box ready to go with camping staples and a shelf in the garage with the camping gear. When the time comes to camp, collect perishable items and start throwing things in your camping box and cooler. You’ll be good to go. I’ve prepared a two-page checklist, and I hope it’s as helpful for you as it is for us. Remember the following Six Ground Rules below too. You can thank me later. 🙂

Six Ground Rules:

    1. Don’t set your expectations high. Better yet, don’t have any.
    2. Your kids will get filthy; it means they’re having fun.
    3. Sleep is overrated, especially the first night. Don’t count on getting your beauty rest.
    4. Marshmallows make a big mess, but they’re entirely necessary.
    5. It’s never too early to crack a beer or your beverage of choice.
    6. You can never have too much firewood.

Note: Campgrounds fill up quickly, so if you want to go camping start thinking about booking those sites at the beginning of the year. Visit recreation.gov, and look for open weekends or your preferred weeks. On average, it costs around $25/night to book.

Below are brief descriptions of the campgrounds we visited and some of our memories from the summer. Enjoy!

Buffalo Campground in Roosevelt National Forest (Near Pine, CO)

This campground is smaller and more compact, but it’s also much closer to Denver than most. They have picnic tables, good tree coverage, vaulted toilets and drinking water. Dogs are allowed.

Our first attempt at camping this year was an epic fail. It was the weekend of June 21-23, and on June 21, the first day of summer, it snowed. It was a good thing we didn’t try to brave it much longer than we did. It was raining and hailing on our way to the site, and being the adventurous person I am, I talked Pat into continuing onward. He begrudgingly honored my wishes and kept driving. We arrived at the campsite, unpacked and setup, ate dinner under the canopy, roasted marshmallows over the stove’s burner, packed everything back up and left. It was likely the shortest camping trip ever. We got the full experience though of setting up, tearing down, eating and packing back up. Isn’t that what it’s all about anyway? Had the girls listened and stayed under the canopy, per our instructions, we may have made it, but what kid listens? They were soaked, and then the temperature dropped, so it wasn’t a good way to go into a night of 30 degree temperatures. Pat was no doubt ecstatic to be able to sleep in his own bed that night, and thank goodness our drive wasn’t crazy long. 

Chambers Lake (Near Poudre Canyon)

We’ve been to this campground several times now, and we love it. It’s near water and has a lot of tree coverage, picnic tables, nearby hikes, a park for the kiddos, vaulted toilets and drinking water. The drive is pretty long, and should you leave on a Friday, be prepared for an obscene amount of traffic. Feel free to bring the dog(s) and anything you want to take out on the water.

We planned to leave at 2:30 p.m. and instead left at 3:30 p.m., adding another two hours to the commute. We had to forfeit our plans for bratwursts and stop at a Qdoba outside Fort Collins before heading up the Poudre Canyon, where there is nothing for miles. We arrived at our site just before nightfall and squeezed in s’mores. On Saturday, we passed the time at Chambers Lake skipping and throwing rocks, watching the girls run around and playing at the park. It’s a beautiful spot and worth the drive.

Glacier Basin Campground in Rocky Mountain National Park (Outside of Estes Park)

Glacier Basin is beautiful, of course. It’s a bit close quarters, and apparently we missed the memo on bringing the kids’ bikes/scooters. It’s a well-traveled campground, and to our dismay the campsites aren’t equipped with bear boxes, at least not all of them. There are actual bathrooms though versus the standard vaulted toilets, and there’s running water and a sink in which to wash your dishes. This site is pretty glamorous…almost didn’t feel like camping. 😉 They also have evening hour-long shows for the families and Sunday church services for non-denominational religions. While the campground allows dogs, Rocky Mountain National Park is not pet friendly. Dogs are not permitted on the trails or open areas, so it makes it difficult to do much site seeing, if you have dogs.

When camping with kids, it’s smart not to get your hopes up for any kind of hiking, unless you have hiking packs and the ability to carry them. Even then, don’t plan on perfection. Our four-year-old is actually pretty good at hiking, but our little Punkin’…forget it. Her legs apparently stop working after five minutes of walking, and the easiest way to move along is to suck it up and carry her. That kid weighs as much as a sack of potatoes. Not ideal.

The girls are perfectly content entertaining themselves though, and Punkin’ can sit and color for awhile. She has some mad focusing skills. I enjoy the break in just sitting and watching them too, but sometimes those mad focusing skills are so great she forgets where to go potty, so the mama moment of serenity quickly ends. As a parent, life is always busy, but camping gives you the opportunity to catch your breath, so soak it in for as long as it lasts.

Cow Creek South (White River National Forest)

This is a great spot if you enjoy the water and want a place to play with your water toys. It’s still great, even if you don’t have fancy toys. The sites are spread out with plenty of room for multiple tents. Be prepared to pay $6/day/extra vehicle. There are vaulted toilets, but we didn’t see anywhere to fill up water jugs, so bring plenty because it’s hot! Also, there isn’t any shade because you’re on the banks of a reservoir. There are picnic tables, but I’d bring two canopies, if possible. Dogs are allowed, and if your dog likes water he/she will be in heaven. The biggest downside is I-70 traffic in either direction. 

Well, it hit me on this trip…the pregnancy that is. Hey, it only took six months. It started when we had to pull over on I-70 for Punkin’ to pee, so obviously I had to go too. Pat was mortified because he was sure I mooned every passerby. My bladder is the size of a pea anymore. We also spent all day in the sun on Saturday, and by late afternoon you couldn’t have paid me to move my butt off the chair. I was useless, and I watched my friend Daphne tidy up the site and help keep my children in line, while I sat. Like any good friend though, she said I could pay her back when she got pregars again.

This trip was fun too because the girls each had a playmate. When camping, it’s easier if you have other kids in the group to entertain your little ones, but it’s obviously not necessary. Bubbles are always fun, and hey, water guns would’ve been a good addition to this trip. A lesson in s’more stick/kabob skewer safety is never a bad idea either. Pookie almost had her eye poked out, but it was thankfully just a bruise below the bottom lashes. She didn’t even cry.

We’ve got one more camping trip this summer; I guess September is considered fall, right? I am hoping I can make this mid-September trip with our friends because at the moment I feel very large. I honestly don’t know where this baby will go, as I fear I’ve run out of room. This last trip is at Golden Gate Canyon State Park, which is approximately one hour away. We’ll see how it all unfolds. Stay tuned.

I’d love to hear about your camping go-tos and must-haves. Please submit a comment. 

Favorite Meals (Mix n’ Match):

    • Burgers and salad
    • Bratwursts and salad
    • Trucker Meal (Wrap raw ground beef, raw/frozen veggies, salt and pepper in foil, and throw it over the fire.) Use your best guess as to when it’s done, and dig in.
    • Birch Benders Paleo Pancake Mix (All you need to add is water.)
    • Jimmy Dean Breakfast Sausages (They’re already cooked, so really you’re simply heating them up.)
    • Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches
    • Sargento Balanced Breaks Snack Packs
    • Fruit
    • Eggs
    • String Cheese

 

Drama Queen, Clown and New Baby, Oh My!

A couple days ago I exchanged emails with the mortgage lender supporting my current real estate listing, and somehow my kids came up. She told me I should bring them to the closing at the end of the month because she needed a toddler fix. After telling her I had a two- and four-year-old and that such a situation would be utter chaos, she responded, “Sounds like Heaven to me! My kids are all grown and [there are] no grand babies.” All I could think was, “Man! She is bat shit crazy!”

Maybe if I told her about the recent urine fest at the pediatrician’s office for yearly well checks, she’d change her mind. I am assuming you want to know about the urine now, right? Well…Pookie needed to provide a urine sample during this last visit, so the nurse gave us this cool toilet insert to catch the urine, and I was thankful. All I envisioned on my way to the office was attempting to catch a wiggly toddler’s pee in a small cup, so this was going better than expected. After she was done, I squatted in front of the toilet to show Pookie how to be careful when pouring the pee into the cup. Then it happened…the fricken toilet seat fell down and crashed onto my cup and insert, and all of a sudden it was like Old Faithful exploded. Only it was a fountain of piss.

I yelped/screeched very audibly and started laughing and even more so when Pookie looked at me and said, “Mommy! You splashed me!” Amongst the laughing I heard the nurse outside, “Mom, are you OK?” Ummmmm…“No!” The nurse quickly came in with Clorox wipes for clean up, and I used a few alcohol pads to wipe my dripping leg. Continue reading “Drama Queen, Clown and New Baby, Oh My!”

Potty Training, Not for the Faint of Fart

As I write, it’s 9:20 p.m., and I am trying to learn the contract software I’ll use in my new gig as a REALTOR®, but instead, I got distracted by the dinging on Facebook…and now I’ve got potty training on my mind.

I am in an “Oh Crap Potty Training Unofficial Book Club” Facebook group, and I oftentimes respond to parents’ desperate requests for help because, let’s face it, potty training sucks! Potty training my now threenager was, by far, the hardest thing I’ve had to do as a parent. It’s also the only time I’ve read a parenting book since having both my babies. I am under the impression that, as parents, we ultimately know what to do when it comes to our children, unless there really is a severe issue. I’ve also found that friends who like to read and read and read and then Google are the ones whose imaginations run wild, causing more stress. Stop trying to figure everything out, and just do what works best for you and your kids. You’re likely very intelligent and a great parent already, but all bets are off when it comes to potty training.

It’s hard, and it’s emotionally draining for everyone involved, but I had no clue where to start, so I did read. One book. I highly recommend “Oh Crap! Potty Training; Everything Modern Parents Need to Know to Do It Once and Do It Right” by Jamie Glowacki. It was a no BS-type of book, and it made me realize how disciplined and committed we’d have to be once we decided to start training. My suggestion, read the book before attempting potty training. There are even cliffs notes at the end, should you or your significant other not have time to read. I know there are some who claim their kids were trained in three days, but that wasn’t the case for us. It took us about two months, but she was day and night trained at the end of it. This post is not meant to deter or scare, but it is a dose of reality, and I hope it’s somewhat encouraging too. I seem to have become a potty training guru amongst my friends, hence my reason for this post.

Here’s how to start. Pookie watched and helped me put all of her diapers in a big garbage bag, and we took them to the outside trash can. (Of course I went back and hid them in the house later. Those things aren’t cheap people.) She was either completely naked or wearing just a shirt for a week, and we were at home that entire week, just Pookie, a four-month old and me. (Set aside at least three full days.) And talk about stir crazy. I didn’t realize Pookie and I were depressed until we took a trip to the zoo as a family a week after starting. It was like God parted the sky, and this beam of light shone down on us.

One of my best tricks…I gave her a ton of pedicures. I’d sit outside or in the bathroom with a bowl full of warm water while she sat on her potty. I’d soak her feet, and then leave one foot in the bowl, while I painted the toenails on her other foot. She would inevitably go pee, but in the moment I thought she’d never be able to go without having a pedicure. Continue reading “Potty Training, Not for the Faint of Fart”

Make Your Time Matter

Here it is…the conclusion to my 2018 reflections, coming just in time to prompt you to keep up with your resolutions for 2019. Remember, it takes about one month to form a habit, so don’t quit! These last three points I emphasize are truly foundational for all you wish to accomplish this year, whether it’s improving your relationships, losing weight, being a better parent, starting a business, etc. I believe these takeaways will position you to succeed, as long as you force yourself to follow through and form the right habits.

Be intentional in making time for your spouse or significant other. Our little Pookie was a honeymoon baby, so Pat and I really didn’t have much of a honeymoon stage to our marriage. Everything happened so quickly, and before we knew it our “adventurous dates” consisted of making dinners or getting takeout and relaxing in front of the TV. We realized we were slowly slipping into a state of complacency, so our New Year’s resolution the year we were married was to go on a date night once a month. We have missed very few date nights since January 2015. It truly makes a difference. If you are married, or even in a serious relationship, set aside one night (or day) every month for you and your significant other. Take turns planning something unique and fun. Sure, dinner and a movie is nice, but don’t do the same darn thing all of the time. And this isn’t just for the newly weds. Even if you’ve been married for 40+ years, make this happen. Check out “Come on Baby Light my Fire” at the end of this post for date night ideas. You’re welcome.  Continue reading “Make Your Time Matter”

Time to Clean and Refresh

Well, we’re at the start of week three of the new year, and I have spent most of the year feeling like crap. Speaking of crap, my one-year-old broke containment a couple days ago and got poop all over the family room area rug. So I grabbed the bottle of stain remover meant for animal odors and accidents and sprayed the crap out of the rug. Literally.

Then I go to shower Punkin’ down, and as soon as I am done I hear my three-year-old freaking out. “What’s going on?” “I sat in the poop!” “Seriously, I showed you the poop, told you not to sit there but to sit on the couch, and what did you do?” “I sat in the poop.” So then I had to shower her down. What is it with threenagers? “Oh, look, maybe sitting in this poop will give me some color.” Pat rented a carpet cleaner from Home Depot for the night.

That poop escapade was followed by a major threenager tantrum…likely the best I’ve ever seen. You know, the kind where she’s so hot she moves herself across the room on her back. Maybe we should consider exorcizing the house.

Did I mention I was sick throughout all of this? Continue reading “Time to Clean and Refresh”

Toddler Toots, Rx for Belly Laughs

Upon picking Pookie up from preschool the other day, I realized bath time was going to be a necessary evil that couldn’t wait until that night, which is when I would’ve bathed Punkin too. If you don’t know me, I am a planner and perfectionist, and I like checking off boxes. Give me an idea, and I’ll make it happen…at least that’s how I used to be. However, with the way my day had panned out, nothing had fallen into place nicely. When does it ever fall nicely into place anymore? It’s a constant battle: Kathryn versus her expectations—Kathryn 0 and Unmet Expectations 10. In case you’re wondering, Punkin did not get a bath that evening, and mama had some vino! 

While I do enjoy the “lotion song” we sing after baths, I hate actual bath time! “Stop splashing! Be careful with your sister! Stop licking the tub walls! (I am not sure if I can accurately remember the last time I cleaned the bathtub.) Put your head back; put your head back; put your head back. Stop eating the soap! Quick, get out…sister pooped!” You know, all the things you will say a billion times before the kids are old enough to tend to their own hygiene…whenever that may be. I hear boys still don’t have it figured out by the time they hit puberty. Good luck to you mamas of boys. 😉

Anyway, when I picked her up that day, she was coatless and bootless (at least she had her tennis shoes on), and she was jumping/running through muddy, icy puddles. Thanks Peppa Pig. Continue reading “Toddler Toots, Rx for Belly Laughs”

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